The mathematics of rudeness

I was hungover yesterday.

After a few too many drinks at a party I’d imagined I would leave at 1 but ended up Ubering home from at 4, I was teetering between anxiety attack and mild hallucinations from the moment that I woke up.

If I could have, I would have spent the day laying in bed, watching Gilmore Girls and eating pretzels, eventually ordering Indian takeaway and falling asleep in a…