Forcing myself to write and the glow moment

When I was in high school, I had a typewriter. It was actually my mom’s old typewriter, which I found in the basement. It wasn’t one of those beautiful typewriters, with individual keys for each letter, that made a quaint print-pressing sound as you typed, bringing you back to simpler times. It was an eighties typewriter and it looked like an old computer. When I turned it on, it made the same sound that receipt machines make when they’re printing and it moved it’s cursor to the next available line.

Young Alex and her trusty typewriter.

I wrote a lot in high school before having a typewriter, in notebooks during school, but I never could have predicted how much having a typewriter enabled my writing. From the moment I got it, I spent all my time giving my thoughts to the typewriter, most of which sound like high thoughts**, constructed after reading a couple of chapters of The Electric Kool-aid Acid Test.

When things become so set and there as to become the wall’s or the building’s, but not yours anymore: you created it and you hung it and you saw it as yours but now yours is gone and it’s become it’s and theirs and you wanted it that way — you didn’t like it as yours, or as you, but now you want it — now that it’s theirs. Seeing it as someone else’s has glazed your critical eye over and now you study it lightly, placing some heavy and undeserved bravado on this ‘piece’ — you study it just so, and you acquire it into your collection, explaining it never as yours or theirs but just as it.

Young Alex

When I was in this writing flow, something beautiful happened — I would begin to experience this moment, this glow moment, where I would have a thought that I could not bear to let go. I had to write it down. If it wasn’t on a sheet of paper this moment, I would explode. If I was out, the thought went on a receipt. If I was sleeping, I’d get up and fire up the typewriter. Through writing so much, my thoughts became writing.

After high school, my typewriter and I parted, and with our parting, the glow moment left me as well. I have seldom experienced this same glow moment since, but I would like to. This is why I have decided to force myself to write every single day.

In order to recreate the euphoric feeling of typing on a typewriter, I’ve decided to create blog posts using Medium. That way, I can look back on my words and at least find comfort in their organised and perfect beauty. Maybe in time, my thoughts will become words again, and I can write more wonderful things — this time, with a better vocabulary and not exclusively about high school.

Join the glow movement.

xoxo,
Gossip Girl

** most of which were

Writer, t-shirt designer, software engineer. Child. Canoe. https://www.somewhimsy.co.uk

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